Death is the best ending
by MeganekkoTenshi
Summary: Russia-san," The Japanese man said timidly, "You like Gintama?" One-shot, crackfic. Heavy mentions of Gintama.


**A/N Hi there! Etto, recently, one of my best friends was finally given permission to go online, and I wanted to entertain her, so, this story was born :D**

**I must warn you though, there are heavy mentions of Gintama, and possible spoilers for the Yoshiwara-arc(of said anime). Also, a small reference to Durarara! and Russia/Japan if you squint. Enough of my babbling, on we go!**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Hetalia, I'd wouldn't be writing stories for my friend, I'd be drawing manga for them. If I owned Gintama, I'd be a better comedian. If I owned Durarara!, well, you get the point.  
**

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"Russia-san," The Japanese man said timidly, "You like Gintama?"

The tall Russian man turned to face the smaller Island Nation. "Yes, I do. It is very funny, is it not?"

"Y-Yes!" Japan said, quivering in fright and excitement at having found a fellow otaku in the Russian nation. The idea still somewhat disturbed him though.

Russia's face brightened. "Hey, Japan, what's going to happen to Gin-san? Is he going to die in the Yoshiwara-arc? I'd like to see his blood splatter all over the walls if you please!" The Russian said in child-like glee

"N-No, Russia-san, Gin-san is not going to die!" Japan said, shaking his head in denial.

"Won't you make it happen for me, Japan?" Russia said, ramming the metal pipe that he had taken out of his coat into the wall inches away from Japan's face.

"I-I'll take the appropriate actions." Japan said nervously.

In the end, Japan just couldn't bring himself to kill Gin-san and end Gintama.

'_What if I kill Gin and let Kagura and Shinpachi continue?_' Japan thought. He knew that was impossible though. If Gin went, Shinpachi and Kagura would follow. And no matter how hard Japan willed his drawing hand to move, he just couldn't draw Gin's death scene.

"I apologize to anyone who might mourn for me." Japan said internally.

He proceeded to draw the rest of the manga. He couldn't make Gin die, but he could make some of Gin's blood splatter. And thus, the Yoshiwara-arc came to a close and Gin rose victorious as usual.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~The next world meeting~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Japan desperately avoided Russia during the meeting. He wanted to live a little longer. Just long enough to finish writing Durarara!

However, Japan realized that it was a really bad idea to drink all that Green tea in the morning. He couldn't hold it in and got up to go (as Gintoki would put it,) take a piss. Russia stood up and followed the asian nation.

Japan sighed in relief as he opened the cubicle door. 'That was close' he thought. Until…

"Japan~" Russia sang from outside the toilet.

Japan squeaked and sped back into the cubicle. He hurriedly locked the door and tried to hide his breathing.

'Where did all your ninja training disappear too!' Japan internally scolded.

"Japan~" Russia said, this time, from inside the toilet. He used his metal pipe to rap against the wooden cubicle door. "I'd like to speak with you about Gintama~"

Japan used his hand to cover his mouth. He hoped, PRAYED, that Russia would go away if he kept quiet.

Sadly, luck was not on his side. Russia forced the metal pipe through the door, creating a large hole. The door gave way and fell to the floor with a loud _THUMP_

Japan's eyes widened in fear as he clamped his mouth shut to prevent him from screaming like a little girl. He was too prideful for that.

"Japan~" Russia said, as he raised the pipe.

Japan braced for impact. It never came.

"I loved the Yoshiwara-arc!" Russia said, as he put the pipe back into his coat. "Even though Gin didn't die, I loved how Hosen died!"

"Eh?" Japan could do nothing but gape in shock.

"Kamui is great, da?" Russia said dreamily.

Japan finally recovered from the shock. Weakly, he agreed with Russia.

"Hey Japan, can you do something with cats next?" Russia asked.

"I'm sorry, cats?" Japan asked. That seemed like something Greece would be more likely to ask.

"Da, cats! Cats are very cute. I want to see their Nyan-ness" Russia said happily. "I'm counting on you, comrade"

Russia smiled and made his way out of the bathroom, leaving Japan staring in shock after him.

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**How was it? Reviews and Constructive critisism is welcome :D Also, I apologize for how cracky this fic seems. Forgive me m(_ _)m**


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